ChainsawJoe
AnaMacha
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I guess it's time to decide if this is little thing is going to live or die once and for all. I really miss writing actually, but just haven't found the time. I am pledging to re-dedicate myself until the end of the year and then make a final decision.

This will coincide with the end of year mountain of decions beyond all that have ever been. I'm at work on a Friday morning which is our weekend but all part of my

...see Exhibit A why this is so hard to keep up. I opened this 30 mins ago and have had countless interruptions

anyhoooo - all part of my evil plan to make sure I have as many options to choose from as possible in Jan when I plan to try map out the next six months or so which will either be or not be after a poromotion and either be or not be after a issue-less arrival of a healthy happy new baby, whichever may be the will of the universe.

In the meantime its all very interesting at the office with a palpabale buzz of change in the air and of course simultaneously in my actual body and home.

The best part is that I don't think the wait will be too difficult because time is FUH LYING by - literally weeks like days because workload is ridiculous leading up to end of year activity, we have non stop visitors from now until the week after New year's and there is still much to be done in the house.

In the meantime my biggest pregnancy craving has been travel. I have a quick weekend planned in the Dead Sea in a couple of weeks and then a couple of days in London - all on the pretenses of work but with the solid intention of sneaking in some pleasure. What I'm really yearning for though is an East Coast trip. I want to feel crisp air and see the leaves change! New York/Boston/Maine yepper that's just what I need. Next year I guess.

Obviously having some sort of techinical difficulties...

Peek a boo I see you! You won't believe me but I've actually logged on to update a few times since my last one a million years ago. But the bloggy thing is now hooked up to gmail and it took a while to remember how to use my gmail since I never do and then when I did I had all this FUNNY stuff in my inbox mostly from consiglieri and CJ that I read that for a while and then my blog time was up already and yada yada blah bleeh blah.

The peek a boo image is in honor of my latest obsession - the sleep mask!! Wonder how in god's green earth I got on without this before?? This thing plus the black out curatins in the bedroom have elevated things to a whole new level of blotting out the world. It's like going into hybernation for the night. Both in the good and bad ways...the sleep itself rivals a state I only previously achieved through the cheerful zombielicious mix of a bong hit and a percacet. You sleep like the deeply contented un-dead. And you dream like you finally got out the marigold gloves and went to town spring cleaning your subconscious. The only downside - other than it not being the most romantic end to an evening to roll over and strap on a blindfold - is the rather abrupt transition in the morning when the alarm clock goes and it freaks me out when I open my eyes and still can't see and then stumble around confused until I'm alert to realize I've auto piloted myself into the shower. What to do, every rose has its thorn.

Other than that what can I tell ya? Do you know about the Secret? A friend gave me the DVD last year some time and now apparently it's al over Oprah and what not. I'll sum up - it's like you visualize all the things that you want to have in your life (harsher punishment for parole violators Stan.......aaand World peace!) you know like success, beauty, love and you just live like you already have it and then it comes to you. Basically. But the thing is if you focus on wanting it you drive it away. So anyway I try to do my little visualization projects but I get sooo confused if I'm doing it right or if it's being wanted/manifested/pushed/shaken or stirred. Fuck it better just head to the office/gym and work for it eh? But the thing about the Secret that keeps freaking me out is not particular to it - this thing that when you are thinking of someone a lot and then they just show up or call or you get an email out of the blue. This happens to me aaalll the time! This just happened the other night when we had a houseguest for a few eons..er days..an old friend of sach's and we were talking about their third muskateer who none of us had seen for months/years and then he literally called in the middle of the conversation and said he was in town and we all met up drank champers on our balcony til the sun came up catching up. nuts no? but really ..as we were speaking his name, he phones, etc. That's twilight zone shit.

God what a disgraceful, boring excuse for post. After all that time this is what you get? What a rip off. I swear I've lost my personality down the corporate crapper somewhere. No relief in sight. They've not allowed me my holiday which means hubs is heading off on his own -which he's thrilled with of course. I mean between the sleep mask, working weekends, solo holidays and the softened, demure nature one develops working in finance he's just loving my whole vibe right now. OK I better run before all my creative energy gets sucked into this post and I got nothin left for those page turning quarterly reports due tomorrow! http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RADiD1MUrbkveVqZ3tcnetRsYY4kG21vmHoQRlHmm4qkujv!V7ydnunsqZRbSnMuA1TbkH*32WDXJe2VJI0VhUk0K*5i7750sxJPYG7004M/ef_1.jpg" />

Peek a boo I see you! You won't believe me but I've actually logged on to update a few times since my last one a million years ago. But the bloggy thing is now hooked up to gmail and it took a while to remember how to use my gmail since I never do and then when I did I had all this FUNNY stuff in my inbox mostly from consiglieri and CJ that I read that for a while and then my blog time was up already and yada yada blah bleeh blah.

The peek a boo image is in honor of my latest obsession - the sleep mask!! Wonder how in god's green earth I got on without this before?? This thing plus the black out curatins in the bedroom have elevated things to a whole new level of blotting out the world. It's like going into hybernation for the night. Both in the good and bad ways...the sleep itself rivals a state I only previously achieved through the cheerful zombielicious mix of a bong hit and a percacet. You sleep like the deeply contented un-dead. And you dream like you finally got out the marigold gloves and went to town spring cleaning your subconscious. The only downside - other than it not being the most romantic end to an evening to roll over and strap on a blindfold - is the rather abrupt transition in the morning when the alarm clock goes and it freaks me out when I open my eyes and still can't see and then stumble around confused until I'm alert to realize I've auto piloted myself into the shower. What to do, every rose has its thorn.

Other than that what can I tall ya? Do you know about the Secret? A friend gave me the DVD last year some time and now apparently it's al over Oprah and what not. I'll sum up - it's like you visualize all the things that you want to have in your life (harsher punishment for parole violators Stan.......aaand World peace!) you know like success, beauty, love and you just live like you already have it and then it comes to you. Basically. But the thing is if you focus on wanting it you drive it away. So anyway I try to do my little visualization projects but I get sooo confused if I'm doing it right or if it's being wanted/manifested/pushed/shaken or stirred. Fuck it better just head to the office/gym and work for it eh? But the thing about the Secret that keeps freaking me out is not particular to it - this thing that when you are thinking of someone a lot and then they just show up or call or you get an email out of the blue. This happens to me aaalll the time! This just happened the other night when we had a houseguest for a few eons..er days..an old friend of sach's and we were talking about their third muskateer who none of us had seen for months/years and then he literally called in the middle of the conversation and said he was in town and we all met up drank champers on our balcony til the sun came up catching up. nuts no? but really ..as we were speaking his name, he phones, etc. That's twilight zone shit.

God what a disgraceful, boring excuse for post. After all that time this is what you get? What a rip off. I swear I've lost my personality down the corporate crapper somewhere. No relief in sight. They've not allowed me my holiday which means hubs is heading off on his own -which he's thrilled with of course. I mean between the sleep mask, working weekends, solo holidays and the softened, demure nature one develops working in finance he's just loving my whole vibe right now. OK I better run before all my creative energy gets sucked into this post and I got nothin left for those page turning quarterly reports due tomorrow!

I think I feel a post coming on...

nope

Well we're certainly making a habit of this work hard/play hard thing.

Last night promotions and bonuses were announced followed by a champagne-a-thon. Didn't get promoted, but can't drink champagne either so it all balances out. Riiiiiiight.

The promotion news was not a surprise, but not all is lost. What did occur was that my proposal for the reorganization of the team was accepted and announced in the CEO's year end message. The existing VP of PR was also shown the door. So the glass half full view of future possibilities is pretty good from here. Of course it's taken a day and a half of looking at the glass half empty to get there but let's not dwell.

The real upside of last night was an absolute love-fest with the rest of the firm. A lot of senior guys that I had been a bit of a scaredy-cat of before were just touchingly and unexpectedly supportive, and it was a good ole knees up with the rest of the crew as well. This is a very big change from the way we've been viewed as more a general sense of irritation within the firm for the last 9 months.

The grind of the year ahead will be gruelling and probably make the past year's trials and tribulations look like orientation week...but if it should all work out it may just knock the pessimist out of me but good.

Gruelling is a word right? Damn this blog spell checker..got me all doubtin and junk

Set yourself up for success that's what I say. You just gotta make sure you map out the shortest and straightest line between you and your goals. K-I-S-S. Keep It Simple Stupid. Go Team.

Exhibit A:
Find personal trainer who will train you in the morning at home eradicating all possible work out excuse options - check

Make the responsible decision to drop into Agency after work for wine and fondue - check

Reafirm this is a most conscious self sabatoge by repeating same responsible decision making through 2 additional venues and copious cocktails until 2am - check

Smoke a total of 4,000 cigarettes over the course of the evening - check

Eat french fries on the way home - check

Hide phone from yourself so you can't call and cancel the trainer - check

Feel genuine pride and congratulate yourself on the commitment you show by going to bed in your work out clothes jog bra, sweat socks and all so as to facilitate transer from bed to treadmill - check

Sweat Chardonnay all over trainer, focus on not puking - check

aaaand exhale

Things that make you go hmmmmm.....

Damn, whether that rings a bell because of the song or Arsenio Hall show that seriously shows my age!

You know how when we were growing up our parents played their music in the car and we were like what the hell? Where the hell is Cripple Creek? I mean this was serious heart of the 80s before Sugar Magnolia became the anthem of the suburban 90s pre-teen and we paid retail for fake worn out hippy clothes. Anyway when I'm driving my kids around someday (tuh-tuh-tuh) will they be asking what the hell is Gin & Juice?

Recently I realized what it is I miss most about London. It came to me during one of my at least twice daily visits to www.overheardinnewyork.com. Life in a city where you are elbow to elbow with everyone else is goooood. In a way it's what got me blogging in the first place. Aside from wanting to be Ana when I grow up, of course. You go through a day in London and you've sat through some nonsense on the tube, encountered an idiom buffet over lunch and finished off with a crazy cocktail. (especially at Metropolitan) People do and say the most outrageous stuff but then so do you by their standards - and sometimes your own. I dunno. I'm not articulating it well. But for me when I see all that around me really keeps my brain buzzing and creative juices flowing. I think about what I would have done in that situ or how that person who is nothing like someone else I know actually reminds me of them and how much people just really wear their issues out there like a blinking sign around their neck. And of course how much everyone feels the right way to deal is just sooo obvious and just sadly ignored by all the other poor bastards.

It's not just me who appreciates all this - apparently there is a bit of a reverse migration of senior citizens. They used to head to Florida or the country and now they are more likely to find a pad in the city. It makes perfect sense to me. Loneliness is the real killer. I saw this show on old people in the countryside of England once and had to feign allergies for a week it made me cry for them so. They have a nice life on paper but are just devastatingly lonely. Like trapped on a desert island kind of isolation with no one to talk to but themselves. I'm a girl who loooves her solitude but clearly that is about having options to be in it or not. Yeah, proper cities rock.

You could never have overheardindubai.com or you could but it would have very little variety. You could have overheardinthesalonindubai.com maybe. Some crazy shit goes on in there. The windows are all blacked out or frosted so no one can see in and men are prohibited from entering. Not that you get a lot of guys beating down the door of nail bars generally but the point is the extra assurance of gender separation. So the Abaya's come off and you see what's underneath. Sometimes shockingly little but usually such a mass of conflicting haute couture labels and diamonds you don't know whether to stare or shield your eyes from burning. Very often however I leave deeply appreciating my hubs. I overhear sooo many just vile conversations these women endure with their husbands. This is not limited to one religion mind you, but often limited to Arabs and from what I can tell Lebanese. The Brits and Aussies are more often gossiping into their mobs about who has had what bit of work done to themselves and how everyone else's marriage is on the rocks. But for the Lebanese (affectionately known here as Lebos) It first of all seems totally unacceptable that they are unaccounted for during this hour of pampering, second they take an earful for being at the salon and third for not being in the middle of doing something for these guys they could be doing for themselves. Many times this ends in their being hung up on. But as I sit there a little traumatized these girls take it pretty much in their stride. The bottom line is that for Lebanese women especially the more heinous offence than any of those would be to go out in public with one hair out of place or the tiniest chip in their manicure, such are the expectations on their appearance. A call they answer by always looking flawless, so they know what time it is.

The other feature of the salon is that the ladies doing the manis/pedis are almost invariably Philipina. This is an interesting culture. Generally very sweet and kind and friendly and...Familiar. It's a culture where age is respected so nay older woman is basically an Auntie who is well within her rights to sort your life out. During any given appointment you are very likely to get an update on your weight - ma'am Jessica you have lost your weight/oh noo! ma'am Jessica what happened you were looking so nice before! You will get seriously told off for having callusues on your feet and whether you request the service or not you will not be able to leave with one hair follicle - no matter how soft or blonde or otherwise undetectable - from anywhere above your shoulders. And just thank your lucky stars that's the only area they are prepared to work on in a nail bar! And if you go the same place long enough you get the added feature of life advice - Yooou don't listen to me! Why you don't have babies, are you sure you can have babies?!, You are getting old now better have babies soon!, you work too hard, you're too much stressed because see you are getting BIG wrinkles - right here and here and here, why you don't tell your husband to take you on holidays so you can relax and have babies!!

It's fun times and all but I think I need a dose of real city life, and a museum or two at that. But no chance of that for a few months now. Which brings me back to horoscopes - The day I made my pitch for a promotion my horoscope said a new job opportunity is coming your way but it is unclear whether it is with your current employer or another. And last night an ex-colleague who has moved over to one of our competitors called me to say they wanna offer me a job. I'm meeting him for coffee later to get the details...verrry interesting. To be honest I don't want to leave where I am even if I don't get promoted. It's exciting here and I have friends here and it's a younger/funner company than the other one. But on the other hand it would be more reasonable hours, more secure, less volatile and probably more moolah....Sorry what? I dozed off there for a minute...

Here's something ironic (according the USA definition. I never did quite catch on to the UK definition but they are different)The spell check on blogger.com does not recognize the word 'blogging'